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Plan On Being Nervous, Brilliantly

Being nervous sucks. Your pulse races. Your brain blanks. Your hands shake like little assholes. You tell yourself to take deep breaths, but the minute you do, you then worry that the entire room can see the fact that your heart is, in fact, doing the electric slide up and down your rib cage. (God […]

In: Hard Stuff, Success,

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“But How The $&%* Do I EXPLAIN What I’m Selling?”

You know how when you go to talk about something you’re selling (a class, a product, an idea…) and you’re all, “BUT HOW DO I EXPLAIN THAT?” (Cue brainstorm hangover.) Things are always so much easier to understand in your head, aren’t they? After all, YOU know what you’re selling. YOU know how great it […]

In: Marketing, Writing,

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If You Don’t Seem Capable…You Aren’t

The way you hold your wine glass. How leisurely you pour your words. The conviction found in your fork, as you slowly and quite deliberately raise each bite to your mouth, as if rushes were for commoners and you hold the greatest secrets of the universe right there in between your forefinger and your thumb. […]

In: Confidence,

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An HR Handbook for Dealing With Assholes

Here’s a pessimistic point of view: People are assholes. The older I get, the more I seem to notice them—which is either because the more time I’m alive the more I increase my odds, or because that god damn Certain Dri deodorant is actually some kind of dick magnet. Or, you know, maybe it’s the […]

In: Hard Stuff,

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A Meditation on Shit Talkers

I got mad yesterday—like ear steaming, red hot, high-pitched, erratic kind of yelling mad. And, you know, I don’t get mad often. I’m generally very level-headed, very calm. Unless, of course, I’m drinking wine, in which case, “level-headed” might not be the best choice of words. Just ask the guy who filed a bogus chargeback on his […]

In: Creativity, Pet Peeves,

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The Answer To: “Where Do You Get The TIME?!?!”

Me: I’m writing a book! People: Where do you get the TIME? Me: Every morning! People: WHERE DO YOU GET THE TIIIIIMMEEEEEEE?! Me: It’s in my schedule. Every morning, from 5am to 8am. People: But I could never cooooommmmmiiiiiittttttt to thaaaaatttttttt. Me: So what do you do when you have a client that needs something, […]

In: Just The Tip,

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The 140 Character Email: An Experiment in Sanity

You know the email. The one you’re dreading responding to—not because of what it says, but because the second you open it, all you see is A GIANT, LOOMING TSUNAMI OF TEXT lurching at your face as if the sender had taken the entire Sunday edition of The New York Times, reformatted it into one […]

In: Hard Stuff,

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